Chuck Norris Joke #402
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Comments:
fred
2020-09-11 21:09:56
chuck norris
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chelsea
2020-03-06 14:07:43
Hahaha thats a Reilly funny joke
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2020-02-11 08:05:43
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Bén
2020-01-19 12:11:40
Chuck Norris knows the last five digits of your PIN number.
zadd
2020-12-15 13:18:23
chuck Norris got bitten by a zombie, and the zombie turd human.
zadd
2020-12-15 13:15:00
chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding
zadd
2020-12-15 13:12:38
chuck Norris nose who let the dogs out
Robert Flores
2020-08-25 09:52:43
Chuck Norris is not in a gang, he is a gang!
Angel
2020-06-28 09:27:16
Kikikikiki love dat
hater of the people who diss chuck
2020-04-23 17:46:10
Your dad should of had made a white spot in the sheets instead of a black spot in society!
hater of the people who diss chuck
2020-04-23 17:46:08
Your dad should of had made a white spot in the sheets instead of a black spot in society!
same
2020-03-12 10:10:45
hyehehe
same
2020-03-12 10:10:44
hyehehe
kirsten
2020-02-23 13:15:38
I am soooo going to laugh when he does have a heart attack
Nikos Greece
2020-02-16 11:42:58
there are no masive distruction guns in Irak. Chuk Norris lives in Oclahoma
cole
2020-02-09 13:30:21
when a zombie bites chuck norris, the zombie BECOMES Chuck Norris
Dbillz02
2020-01-11 23:01:16
Cool hahahaha
lexy
2020-01-07 20:22:17
Cookie what kind of name is that?
lexy
2020-01-07 20:15:28
silence........................................... .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .... I KILL YOU!
Cookie
2020-12-25 21:10:21
Ooohhh... Because chuck Norris afraid to use his hand on his sensitive spots...
Cookie
2020-12-25 21:05:45
Chuck norris scratch his itchy ass with a toothbrush...
dadada
2020-12-22 01:37:45
fake! chuck norris doesn't have ONE heart, he has OVER 9000 hearts!
dadada
2020-12-22 01:37:21
fake! chuck norris doesn't have ONE heart, he has OVER 9000 hearts!
joshua
2020-12-19 17:53:58
GUns carry CHuck norris for protection
kolby
2020-12-08 11:43:58
funny
kolby
2020-12-08 11:43:57
funny
your mom
2020-12-02 19:31:47
thats effin funny
some dude (>")>
2020-11-28 18:39:25
tha is the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i got some good ones but not as good as that!!!!!
chuck norris dosent go swimming water just wants to be around him! :
nick
2020-11-12 10:27:00
Chuck Norris doesn't wear sun glasses. The sun wears Chuck Norris.
John
2020-11-06 08:02:39
hahahahahahahahahaha, good one. I love Chuck Norris, and I love Chuck Norris jokes :D
LeAnna
2020-10-19 20:51:47
when the boogeyman goes to sleep at night he checks the closet for chuck noris
LeAnna
2020-10-19 20:49:52
Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn’t find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, “always leave things the way you found em!”
name
2020-09-29 14:09:54
rotflol
steve
2020-08-30 16:49:41
chuck norris once fell off a waterfall and killed the water
Zach
2020-08-21 19:58:34
Chuck Norris's mom walked in on him masterbating, he looked her straight in the eye and finished.
Ahilan
2020-08-18 12:39:07
Chuck said what do you have there the guy says nothing well if it is nothing you wouldn't mind if I roundhouse kick it.he fell said please please don,t sand chuck said no thanks and then everything exploded but chuck and the cockroaches and chuck laughs wow it was a bombard the coal riches became deaf
John8212
2020-07-14 15:28:40
Hello World
tom
2020-06-13 17:35:02
Chuck Norris didn't cheat death. He won fair and square.
tom
2020-06-13 17:30:09
Chuck Norris had a heart attack,
His heart lost
Papapapa
2020-06-07 19:58:01
Rolling on floor laughing my ass off because CHUCK NORRIS is so beastie, nobody lives through anything ha ha!!!!!!
Papapapa
2020-06-07 19:54:58
Roflmaobcnisbnltahh
Papapapa
2020-06-07 19:51:23
Hahaha funny bunnt jokey
superman
2020-05-05 03:19:59
haha the best
Alyssa
2020-05-02 16:00:24
Lolz
me
2020-05-01 09:02:39
this is a good one
anusha
2020-03-28 15:10:03
i dont under stand most of the jokes
will
2020-03-18 06:33:12
Chuck Norris doesn't turn on the shower when he takes one . . . he just stares at the shower head until it cries.
jerry
2020-03-10 20:44:57
chuck norris closed a revarving door
Kailynn
2020-02-27 09:51:52
Chuck Norris is da best
Arfah
2020-02-15 14:52:16
Plz laugh at this joke. LOL
HubuHaba
2020-02-03 18:05:01
If you say that again, you will be kicked by Chuck
Leeann
2020-01-15 21:24:55
Chuck Norris dosen't peal bananas, bananaa peal Chck Norris
Violet
2020-01-15 21:22:30
Chuck Norris dosen't higher a hit man a hit man highers Chuck Norris
Violet
2020-01-15 21:20:04
When Chuck Norris went uranus it became hisanus
Violet
2020-01-15 21:17:07
When Chuck Norris farts he farts oxygen
fan2g
2020-01-15 12:32:20
omg its so true.i can only imagine what could happen to that poor heart!
noah parker
2020-01-11 11:33:27
its so funny
Chuck Norris
2020-01-05 11:55:36
@Kate you better like my jokes bitch!!
yoyo
2020-01-04 14:31:25
this is one of ma favorites!!!
Amanda Morgan
2020-01-03 13:43:07
Hey, I don't know if you know who Chuck Norris is but I thought you might like this :)
Kate
2020-12-29 20:06:53
Hahahahaah lol I love y chuch noris I love ur jokes
Spade
2020-12-23 10:40:54
Every time you masturbate, Chuck Norris kills an emo kid.
...Let Chuck handle it.
Cullen
2020-11-24 15:44:22
hahahahahahahahaha
lynny
2020-11-23 00:00:23
one for u friendship
jorge
2020-11-22 11:36:45
that was funny
Chuck Norris
2020-11-20 19:19:29
If you think these are funny, you're wrong there facts about my life.
Chuck Norris
2020-11-20 19:19:12
If you think these are funny, you're wrong there facts about my life.
neck tie
2020-11-17 11:37:51
chuck norris jokes all the time lol
Alfred
2020-11-15 12:34:49
OMG i did not know chuck was a funny guy, wow
Alfred
2020-11-15 12:34:27
OMG i did not know chuck was a funny guy, wow
rose
2020-10-21 13:19:26
ok i don really like chuck norris or jokes about him (no don go all racist crap on me!!)
but this was kinda funny lol ;)
bessie
2020-10-16 10:56:15
omfg lol
ItS GeRaLd NinGa!
2020-09-21 14:05:58
I really think dis is the funniest Chuck Norris joke ive heard BUT it isnt da best lol
ItS GeRaLd NinGa!
2020-09-21 14:05:58
I really think dis is the funniest Chuck Norris joke ive heard BUT it isnt da best lol
ItS GeRaLd NinGa!
2020-09-21 14:05:12
I really think dis is the funniest Chuck Norris joke ive heard BUT it isnt da best lol
ItS GeRaLd NinGa!
2020-09-21 14:04:44
I really think dis is the funniest Chuck Norris joke ive heard BUT it isnt da best lol
hotrod 432
2020-09-18 14:50:05
ninja i totaly agree
hotrod 432
2020-09-18 14:48:31
that is such a chessy joke
vanilla guerilla
2020-09-14 00:00:22
Kak funny man,,was in tears
The Kool-Aid Man
2020-09-12 00:23:14
Babalaba you are STUPIDDDDDDDD !
ninaj10
2020-09-09 07:18:55
that's the funnest
Chuck Norris joke i heard!!!!!!!!!!!
Lord
2020-08-31 12:15:56
Chuck Norris complain when he shoot the movie with Bruce lee back in da 70s stating that he would have won if it wasn't a Movie I would have won and keep on sulking about till today. Sometimes he sneaks out at night standing on Bruce's grave and do kung fu alone...
chris
2020-08-21 23:07:35
Chuck Norris is the first man who walked on Mars.. And it became a lifeless planet..
yo momma
2020-08-21 18:10:00
chuck norris went to virgina when he left it was jut called "a"
chuckkiksass
2020-07-26 20:46:08
chuck norris speaks spanish in german
joe
2020-07-18 11:54:14
In the 70's Chuck Norris's mullet caught 'JAWS' and strangled the beast.
VVV
2020-07-15 19:16:07
GOD
Klacker lOl
2020-07-01 22:42:37
chuck norris once went to clown college... there is nothing funny about that school anymore
Klacker lOl
2020-07-01 22:41:44
Physiciatrists vent to chuck norris about their problems
rose
2020-06-28 12:55:18
LMAO!! omg this one was so dame funny.i showed my boyfriend and he nearly had a heart attack laughing!!
jake
2020-06-21 14:50:40
since you love chuck norris..
Jim
2020-06-14 05:40:20
Chuck Norris doesnt turn on the light. He shuts off the dark
Jim
2020-06-14 05:39:02
The tides are not caused by the moon. It is actually the oceans shrinking away from Chuck Norris
Jim
2020-06-14 05:37:43
Chuck Norris gargles with peanut butter
Kujo
2020-05-30 06:02:20
The Ice Age was just Chuck Norris' way of telling the dinosaurs to chill the fuck out
Joe Murphy
2020-05-30 06:00:41
The Ice Age was just Chuck Norris' was of telling the dinosaurs to chill the fuck out
Joe Murphy
2020-05-30 05:48:38
The Three Wise men once picked a fight with Chuck Norris.... They're now known as the Three Stooges
Klacker lOl
2020-05-26 18:17:12
not to be jaytagging the last guy, but your kinda right babalaba. if ya gonna badmouth people on the same website your on, make sure you dont make a fool of yourself aswell...
Klacker lOl
2020-05-26 18:13:54
Only chuck norris can prevent wild fires
@ Babalaba
2020-05-19 21:09:42
You don't even know how to write properly, or spell correctly and you're telling people to get a life? Get an education then, MAYBE people will actually value your opinion.
ggg
2020-04-14 10:21:57
good
Snarky Theman
2020-03-28 09:40:26
so true
Chase
2020-03-23 18:05:28
Awsome
Snoopdog47
2020-03-16 07:11:50
These jokes are really getting stupid and fucked up they don't even make me smile not one little bit.
shaden
2020-03-10 19:04:51
the swine flu gets vaccinated for chuck norris
Halpin 5
2020-03-07 03:30:04
Chuck Norris beat Halo 3 on legendary with a Guitar Hero controller
deuce
2020-02-27 21:57:12
meteorites didn't kill dinosaurs chuck Norris did
Chuck Norris
2020-02-26 19:54:29
i only fear myself.
Chuck Norris
2020-02-26 19:48:54
i roundhouse kicked pluto so hard thats why its to small to be a planet.
Chuck Norris
2020-02-26 19:47:47
my version of cheerios are nuts bolts and diesel fuel.
Chuck Norris
2020-02-26 19:44:19
I Gave The Joker His Smile.
Chuck Norris
2020-02-26 19:43:17
I once Roundhouse Kicked The Joker/ Heath Ledger in the face so hard when he said "WHY SO SERIOUS" he commited scuicide with his knife.
joe bob
2020-02-25 08:23:35
the grass is usualy greener on the other side unless Chuck Norris has been there, then it's usualy stained with blood and tears
Aniket Kapse
2020-02-14 10:25:08
Chuck Norris bought 'Windows 7' from the Apple Store
Aniket Kapse
2020-02-14 10:24:48
Chuck Norris winks just once a year!
Aniket Kapse
2020-02-14 10:24:18
It takes 5 years to reach Pandora but Chuck Norris can do it in 5 seconds.
Aniket Kapse
2020-02-14 10:23:22
When Chuck Norris walks in with a lion, people go - Jesus Christ its Chuck Norris.
Aniket Kapse
2020-02-14 10:22:50
Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a tree.
???
2020-01-30 15:34:34
lol
demax182
2020-01-17 19:58:23
Chuck Norris uses Microsoft Windows on his Macintosh.
aaron
2020-12-22 15:15:43
this joke is so funny i laughed my balls off
Lord Raven
2020-12-21 08:53:30
on the day Chuck Norris was born Ares hung himself out of shear terror, unfortunately Hadies refused to let him in becuase no one dies without the concent of Chuck Norris.
Lord Raven
2020-12-21 08:46:36
Super man can stop a bullet, but Chuck Norris makes bullets trun around and hit the person with the gun for being to stupid to shoot at Chuck Norris.
john mitchell
2020-12-02 11:15:48
chuck norris dosent break wind(fart)he destroys it
robbie
2020-10-20 13:20:45
chuck norris's tears cure cancer...too bad he's never cried...
Brock mcDonald
2020-10-20 10:12:26
Amazing joke lol
keck
2020-05-30 01:01:24
chuck norris and jesus were twins but god killed jesus on the cross because chuck was his favorite
keck
2020-05-30 00:53:52
the only time mr. coolade said oh no is when he jumped though chuck norres wall
Lawl
2020-03-01 13:47:05
The boogy man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris
lol
2020-08-18 08:15:22
Chuck kicks ass!
nicole
2020-05-05 12:45:49
there jokes are good
mikey
2020-04-23 10:22:57
chuck norris doesn't have pubes.
pubes cant grow on steel
anony moose
2020-01-09 02:07:19
LOL
mitch
2020-11-20 03:08:02
chuck norris sleeps with a night-light on.
not because hes afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of chuck norris.
banana slug
2020-08-09 12:04:15
that's not really Mrs. Norris just some fat person in Kansas
-banana slug
Mrs. Norris
2020-07-23 18:32:56
Chuck Norris did the bloody mary ritual and came out of HER mirror.
jake
2020-03-11 20:51:31
slim 18m in ohio
tony
2020-03-08 16:11:24
haha, good one
