Chuck Norris Joke #100
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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Comments:
matt
2020-12-29 12:18:43
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris
Zoolander
2020-11-20 17:54:03
God didn't really rest on the seventh day, He dedicated it to make Chuck Norris.
Zoolander
2020-11-20 17:53:08
In the beggining God said "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said "Say Please."
Zoolander
2020-11-20 17:52:01
Chuck Norris is the reason that the lion in the Wizard of Oz lost his courage.
Mark
2020-03-04 14:30:26
Some of the comments are funnier than the jokes.... lol
Lovenox
2020-11-07 12:16:25
The only thing that Chuck Norris can't do is surf. Thats because everytime he gets into the water it parts in half. ZHe has since taken up sky diving with a handkerchief.
Lovenox
2020-11-07 11:58:01
After his third motorcycle crash the Department of Transportation pleaded with Chuck Norris to wear a helmet. The cost of repairing the roads from the "head imprints" that created massive potholes was killing their budget.
Lovenox
2020-11-07 11:50:43
Cupid once shot an arrow at Chuck Norris. Thats why you only see him on Hallmark cards.
Lovenox
2020-11-07 11:45:47
Chuck Norris' penis has a Top Secret security clearance and is allowed in certain parts of the Pentagon for briefings that Chuck is not. Chuck isn't jealous..he understands the power of his penis.
Lovenox
2020-11-07 11:39:47
If Chuck Norris sat down with King Arthur he would be at the "head of the table."
Alan
2020-11-07 11:31:55
Chuck Norris has a life-time contract with the Bureau of Prisons. He sells his pubic hairs to them wholesale so they dont have to buy the much more expensive and inferior "barbed-wire". The escape rate has plummetted down to 0% after one prisioner nicked his arm and bled to death.
hahaha
2020-11-06 11:54:29
chuck norris destroyed the periodic table of elements because the only element chuck norris realizes is the element of suprise
Andrew
2020-03-08 15:24:07
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Chuck Norris doesn't need to swallow when eating food.
Before science was invented it was once believed that winter occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.
Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
When Chuck Norris' wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, Chuck said, "don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.
If your not handicapped you never met Chuck Norris
joe's idea of funny
2020-01-17 06:54:33
I'm not sure this site is protected from alert(xss)
Johney Bobbin
2020-11-14 15:08:36
this is the first funny joke ive found on this site
asdada
2020-10-25 11:26:34
paul, that mt everest joke was killer lmfao
PAUL
2020-05-04 08:53:36
Chuck Norris has killed countless people with his bare hands. Cause of death...electrocution.
Paul
2020-05-04 08:49:54
Crop circles were made from Chuck Norris' series of roundhouse kicks.
Chuck Norris took a dump and created whats commonly known as Mt. Everest.
A homeless man, Tim Parkinson, trembled uncontrollably at the site of Chuck Norris. This coined the term "parkinson's disease"
Do you know the greatest golfer of all time, Gary Johnson??? Thats right. He once beat Chuck Norris, then Chuck Norris went back in time and roundhouse kicked him into non-existance.
dardub
2020-03-19 00:30:08
There's only two hole cards in texas hold'em. Plus it wasn't funny.
